It’s Valentines Day Weekend and You’re Probably Trying To Get Super Romantical

Yeah, I know, kittens and rainbows and chocolates and expensive prix-fixe dinners. Obviously it’s my favorite holiday. I’m going to buy $1 chocolates at Deal$ and take a bubble bath in my claw foot and treat myself to some cheap bourbon (i.e. like every other Tuesday.) But ok, here’s some suggestions for getting down.

Tonight:

You can get your Mt. Airy folk homebrew singalong on at The Big Folkin’ Experiment at Earth Bread and Brewery. Expect to at some point in the night find yourself singing along drunkenly to Me and Bobby McGee. It feels good enough for me, if you catch my drift.

There’s SMILE, which is a rock and soul party at the Barbary. There’s the standard appealing open bar/no cover/two dollar tacos scenario, but also the party is all vinyl which means you can have the rare experience of seeing an actual DJ (an increasingly endangered species in this era of the space bar drum solo.)

And I mean, there’s snacks. I’m just not going to describe it again. Get your vegan hotdog anything goes on if you must.

Friday:

Our friend and incredibly talented artist Natalie Negron has an art opening, which means really rad and probably affordable art and also free booze and snacks. Art openings are always a good call.

especially when the art looks like this. seriously, this reminds me of my brain on acid.

There’s also an early acoustic show in South Philly where Pinelands is playing. Pinelands is like snotty, atmospheric folk garage made primarily by Ryan Bile who was on Safety committee with me at Occupy Philly. This will probably be good.

Then there’s the $5 show at The Station, where Southwork, Party the Hut, The Externals, and The Heat Run are playing. All of these bands are so outstandingly danceable and upbeat that I honestly think the (fairly pathetic) dancefloor area at the Station is completely unequipped to deal with the rager that’s inevitably going to ensue. Also it’s only $5 and you can smoke inside.

And of course, there’s Heartburn; which is way too much money for me to even really legitimize posting it on here but on some real shit, if you’ve got the $30 for the ticket and some extra money for party favors, this is one of the best raves you’ll ever fucking go to, at least in Philly.

That said though, if you’re trying to get all psyched out and weird for V-day but you can really only afford the party favors and not the expensive rave tickets, this Banned Books show at little berlin looks like a pretty solid bet. I mean it ends at 11 instead of 5, but I’m sure you can stumble your way to some badass afterparty warehouse jawn if you have a nose for that sort of thing.

Also I mean, it’s the WILDSTYLE one year anniversary party, and if free pizza and booze and 90′s music isn’t rave enough for you, then I think you should cut your hair, hippie. You have glow goop in it.

seriously, it looks like this.

Saturday:

Ok, I feel like this is the only thing on Saturday that I should even tell you about because it’s that brilliant. Mountjoy are playing at the El Bar, but the band that’s opening for them….wait for it…are a fucking Misfits cover band. You’re welcome. I’m literally listening to Bloodfeast right now to get pumped.

I also love that Philadelphyinz, instead of ponytailing onto this Valentine’s Day crap like everyone else, are throwing a party for Abe Lincoln’s birthday. Irreverent dance party jams, I’m into it.

That’s literally all I’m gonna give you for Saturday, so you don’t have any excuse to not go to that Mountjoy show. I mean you could also go see the Vagina Monologues at Penn.

Sunday:

Just do yourself a favor and go to karaoke at the Barbary.

But yeah, there’s also Old Baby at the Kung Fu Necktie which is psych-post-strange rock from Louisville but $8 is kind of pricey.

Monday:

I’ll say this again.

Tuesday:

Ok, in addition to 12 Steps Karaoke which I still am going to highly recommend, there’s Valentine’s Day Makeout Club, which like as much as I am not super pro V-Day the fact that it’s an emo/pop-punk dance party pretty much promises to make for some entertaining shenanigans.

There’s also the STASH: VDAY MASSACRE jawn which has homo-thug group Sgt. Sass playing and general gayborhood ruckusness. If you’re single and trying to get laid on Valentines day, I think Makeout Club is the move if you are slightly pathetic but adorable and possibly have long bangs, and STASH will work for you if you are completely fabulous.

And if you are neither of those things, there’s the Cupid is Dead cabaret at the Tritone which honestly sounds pretty awesome, or you could just go see Blue Valentine at the Troc for $3. That movie was so sad and true, I love Ryan Gosling.

Ugh, like I said, I’m spending the weekend in my bathtub.

Posted in Our Party

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